Techtonik

There are many things I don’t understand about the French. Why it’s called the “lunch hour” when it’s actually the “lunch hours,” why they don’t understand the concept of a line and would rather push and cut than respect their neighbors and wait their turn, or why their trains leave either a few minutes early or a few minutes late, but never right on time. The list goes on, but these cultural differences I can cope with and appreciate. When you have two hours to eat you get to eat a lot more food. If you’re running late, it’s nice if the train is too. And it’s nice to not wait in line, but to cut right to the front without feeling guilty. Unfortunately there is one craze I will never understand. One word: tectonik. This is not dancing, but rather the flailing of one’s extremities in very sharp, arrhythmic movements, which can be very dangerous in close range (yours truly was attacked on the way to the ladies room at Club Tiffany). This new “dance” craze is taking over clubs, bars, train platforms, sidewalks and school yards.

One particular February afternoon I was making lunch in my apartment that overlooks the school’s recreational area. It was afternoon break and the kids were filled with excitement because it was the first time in weeks that the sun was shining. Whether it was the weather or just too much conformity, the playground was particularly busy that afternoon. As I pulled a half-eaten wheel of camembert from my mini-fridge, I heard a loud roar from the playground. I looked out my window and saw a large group of students gathering in a circle around two students, cheering and struggling to see what’s going on. This is standard fight formation. I became a little panicked and scanned the yard to see where the surveillants were and if they had noticed the large huddle of students. As I surveyed the situation more closely, I realized that the students in the middle weren’t throwing punches, but dance moves. Someone was playing music on his cell phone while the students in Converse shoes and too much eyeliner waved their arms over their heads in turn. They were having a dance-off. With its arrival in rural Hagondange, the techtonik movement is officially a craze.